A Change of Plans

This year, I started my blog with the intent of the first 78 posts being an exploration of the Tarot of the Cat People.  However, after just three cards, I can already tell you that this is a road paved with failure.  I simply do not connect with the imagery of this deck.

I’ve had this deck for over 20 years. It’s my first deck.  There are many many people who truly love this deck, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.   I, however, do not.

I wanted to, and I was hoping that the exploration of this deck would really help me connect with it.  That is not happening.  What is happening is that I am actively avoiding working on the blog because I don’t want to work with this deck.   I have not written in it since last week when I wrote up the entry for the High Priestess.

There are a few issues I do have with the deck.

1. I don’t connect to the artwork, which is very strange when you consider that I love cats.  I really do.  I have a lot of cat decks.
2. I tend to be a very elemental based reader.  Some people really are drawn to colors, some are drawn to numerology.  I’m elemental, and these are not elemental cards.   Most decks will tell you that the suit of Wands represents fire (or air), etc.   This deck does not do that.   I’m not able to figure out how the artist and creators intended.
3. Because of this major difference, the meanings on the cards do not really mesh with my familiarity levels. 

There are some things I like… I like that the deck represents diversity.  That’s not altogether common, although there is a lot of intent in the creation of more recent decks to represent the world around us, rather than being extremely monochrome with representation.   That’s important, and it should not be discounted, especially considering when this deck was published.   

And perhaps, the lack of connection has nothing to do with any of the reasons I think it does.  Maybe it is much deeper.

This deck was given to me by my ex-husband.  Is there some sort of tie there that will never really be cut.  

At one point, I thought I had lost some of the cards to this deck, and bought a replacement.  I couldn’t connect to that replacement, and I chalked it up to having lost cards and the deck not trusting me because of that.    So I found it a home with someone who does appreciate it.

Then I found my original deck and, lo and behold, it was complete.  I had not lost any cards.  So it was not that.  I just think that maybe, there is a deep level of disconnect.

Perhaps it is because the deck was given to me by my ex.

Perhaps it is because I didn’t initially choose the deck.

Perhaps it is all of it, or maybe none of it.   Perhaps I am overthinking it.

So I will retire this deck.   I will not get rid of it.  This deck served me well back when I first started reading.   And it gave meaningful readings to people, even though I depended on the Little White Book.   It is not a useless deck or a bad deck.

It’s just not for me.

I have a couple of choices in this situation:  

1. Attempt to stick with the Tarot of the Cat People – and therefore end up scrapping this whole thing as I just can’t bring myself to work with the deck every day
2.  Change decks – technically, failing as a blog where I explore the Tarot of the Cat People, but at least continuing on writing
3.  Just stop and drop it entirely.

So, what have I decided?

I’ve decided to keep writing and to change decks.   I have not yet decided if I’m going to swap out decks or pick one and stick with it.   We have about 50 decks in my house (I do wish I were kidding.  Tarot decks are kind of like potato chips), so I could easily use  multiple decks in this exploration, while continuing with the journey through the cards.

This journey continues tomorrow…

Word Count:  715

The High Priestess

Illustrations from the Tarot of the Cat People reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902.  c. 1985 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.  All rights reserved.

Today's card is the High Priestess. 

Looking at this card, I see two large cat pillars looming in the back, one on either side of a dark expance.  Is our High Priestess in a cavern, or is she standing near a doorway?  She is bathed in light, in a room which is dark.   She doesn't look towards us. She is looking towards her staff.  Her robes are voluminous, much like the Magician's, but hers do not feel as much of a tool to obscure.  They are more of a symbol of her status.  She wears a collar of golden plates with a medalion that resembles an eye.

The High Priestess is usually about the pursuit of knowledge, wisdom.   She isn't about arrogance or haughtiness.  She is a student and a teacher, understanding that knowledge is an evolution.

This High Priestess doesn't really give off that vibe.  She seems to be one who receives petitioners and who uses her wisdom to aid those who seek help.  She doesn't seem unforgiving or unapproachable, but does does not strike me as a teacher or a student.

What I am finding in this deck as I explore it by the card is that it really does not feel like a RWS variant.  

The spread I am doing today is one of my own design.  It was inspired by the  Big Bang Theory.   The spread is called the Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock Spread.  

Rock represents what grounds you.  The card in this spot is the Four of Swords.  Swords are representative of the element of air....things that pertain to thoughts or creativity.   Fours are ususally about stability.  Traditionally, this card is about taking a rest; however,this card?  Honestly, I see a woman playing with her cats.  And to me, that's family.  In this position, this card is telling me that I find my strength in my family, in my home.

Paper represents the message you should take away.  The card in this spot is the Three of Pentacles.  Pentacles are the element of earth, and threes represent growth.  But in this card, looking at the image, I see a woman who is training cats, and the cat is balancing and juggling.  What does that mean?  She's clearly been the one who taught this cat.   The message I'm getting is that I should use my creativity to pass on knowledge.

Scissors represents something that is holding you back that you should cut.  The card here is the Four of Wands.  Wands are the element of fire, and Fire is passion.  As before, fours are stability.   Again, that's really not what I'm getting from this card.   I see the man here is playing music, and tehre are four wands on the ground as if tossed neglegently to the side.  The cats beside him are relaxed.  He's very relaxed as well.  So what does it mean?   The wands being tossed to the side make me feel like he's a dabbler.  He starts on paths, but gets bored with them.  He has a variety of interests but doesn't focus on any of them.  So in this case, there is a lack of focus.  The card is advising me to decide what I really want to pursue and focus my energies on it rather than being distracted by a multitude of things which consume my time and don't allow me to really focus on that interest.

Lizard represents something that is poisoning you or protecting you.  The card is the Ace of Pentacles.   Traditionally, Aces are about beginnings.   In this card, I see a woman who is using her energy to summon a pentacle. A fat cat is at her feet, content.   I have a fat cat who is a marshmallow butt of a purr monster.   Basically, he's about the sweetest cat you can meet, and if I'm ever sad or stressed, he is very good at grounding me.   So in this case, I feel like my 'lizard' is protecting me.  I feel like it is telling me that my family helps me to recharge so that I can devote my energy out to the world.

Spock represents the wisdom or experience that you bring.  This card is the High Priestess.   I've already talked about this one a little bit.  How does it relate to this spread.  I do have a degree in education, and frequently do training.  So something that it is telling me is perhaps my path should continue along that.

The spread does not have to be read in a particular order, because afterall:

Scissors cuts Paper

Paper covers Rock

Rock crushes Lizard

Lizard poisons Spock

Spock smashes Scissors

Scissors decapitates Lizard

Lizard eats Paper

Paper disproves Spock

Spock vaporizes Rock

Rock crushes Scissors

So this does allow for a read which relates the different cards in relation to one another.  

How does the Three of Pentacles relate to the Four of Wands?  That means that I should be sure that sharing knowledge does not overextend my energy.  (Scissors cuts Paper)

Four of Swords vs Four of Wands - Don't let my comfort in my home prevent e from getting out there.

(Paper covers Rock)

Four of Swords vs Ace of Pentacles   Both of these were very family driven.   So since one was about my family recharging me and the other was giving me energy out to the world, I think this is also telling me that I help recharge my family.

(Rock crushes Lizard)

Ace of Pentacles over High Priestess.   I've been told I think too much. In this instance, sometimes, it is important to just feel.

(Lizard poisons Spock)

Four of Wands vs Ace of Pentacles.    Decide what I want to pursue, even if my family doesn't understand it.

(Scissors decapitates Lizard)

Ace of Pentacles vs the Three of Pentacles.   Don't feel like I must use my creativity to pass on my knowledge if that's not helping to recharge me.

(Lizard eats Paper)

Three of Pentacles vs High Priestess.   Both of these are about sharing knowledge.   Don't feel that the only way I should use my crativity is for education.

(Paper disproves Spock)

High Priestess vs Four of Wands -  Don't let my feeling of comfort, or my tendency to stay isolated with my family, keep me from getting out there.

(Spock Vaporizes Rock)

Four of Wands vs Three of Pentacles - My family can help me focus, and maybe help me keep from taking on too much.

Rock crushes Scissors.

Word Count:  1109

The Magician

The Magician

Illustrations from the Tarot of the Cat People reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902.  c. 1985 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.  All rights reserved.

Today's card is the Magician.  I'll be honest here -- it's not my favorite interpretation of the Magician.  This magician seems to be cloaked in mystery.  He's wearing a mask which covers his face, and thus hides him from view.  He appears to be wearing an oversized wig/headdress.  His robe encompasses him entirely, obscuring the very shape of his body.  His entire person is covered, leaving us with the mystery of who he is.   As is traditional, the infinity symbol floats above his head, almost as if summoned by his wand in his right hand.   The sword, cup, and pentacle float above the floor, commanded by his left hand.   The cat in this card is drarfed by the oversized annonymity of the Magician.

When I look at this card, I don't see creativity.  I see control.  I see energy.  It feels like the Magician is trying to control all of the elements, but because he is so cloaked and hidden, the motivation for that control is questionable.  That isn't the normal feel of this card, and it is a strong indicator of why this is not one of my favorite artistic impressions of the Magician.   Ordinarily, this card is about creativity, willpower.  

One thing that is interesting about the book that comes with the deck is that the meanings are very much about the duality of human nature.   Willpower overdone can lead to domination.   The book here indicates meanings as varied as originality, creativity skill, willpower, control, deception, sleight of hand. 

The spread I chose for today is the Elemental Spread.   Each card is representative of an element.

Right from the start, I see that I have two cups, one sword, one wand, and one Major Arcana.  Two of the five are court cards.

Card One, Earth - this is about the physical realm, what grounds and keeps secure.   This is the King of Cups.   The suit of cups is the water element, or the suit of emotions.   So we have Water in Earth.   By having a cup in this position, it is indicative that part of security is emotional stability.   The King of Cups is about having that command and knowledge, which further supports the command of emotions bringing security.  

Card Two, Air - this is about the mental realm, thoughts and creativity.  The card here is the Five of Swords -- so it is an Air card in and Air spot, reinforcing the importance of thoughts.   The five of swords in this deck is very differently imagined.  Usually, the card reflects three people, one in the forefront and two leaving.  All have discarded their swords.  However, in this card, there are four swords seemingly mounted on a wall and the protagonist is holding one in a relaxed position, while two cats look at him in awe.   This card indicates that one should be careful of the battles one engages in, and the manner in which victory is earned.  Do you win the battle and lose the war?   In a position regarding the mental realm, particularly when it relates to creativity, it could mean that sometimes fighting to get through the mental block may not be the best way to handle things.

Card Three, Fire - this is about passions, the things that drive you.   The card here is the Magician.  Because this is the only Major Arcana in this spread, I feel that this is an indicator that this may be an important key for this reading.   It is also fitting because the element being held by the Magician is the wand, the Fire Element.   The Magician thinks he can control his passions; however, Passions must be tempered by thought and emotion and security.  Letting any one of them be the strongest weakens the person as a whole.   Passion allowed to run unchecked can lead to troubles; emotions left unchecked can weaken one.  Too much time spent in thought or creativity leads one to neglect other things.  And focusing only on security can cause one to not take any risks.   Only when all of these are in balance can one really achieve greatness.

Card Four, Water - This card is about emotions.   The card here is the page of cups.   Again, water in water, doubling the power of the emotions in this spread.  The Page here is calm, relaxed, easy.  Greeting the day wth patience.   This is showing a serenity and peace.

The final card Represents the element of Spirit.   Here we have the Nine of Wands.  This is about passions, and it is a card that reflects inner strength.

Word Count 793

January 2 - The Fool       

Again, we're following the Tarot of the Cat People.  Reviews I have read on this deck claim it to be both Rider Waite Smith inspired and Marceilles.  I personally am more familiar with the RWS variants than the Marseilles, and I see it as a RWS style tarot deck.

Today, we start our journey through the Tarot of the Cat People with the Fool.   The Major Arcana has been referred to as the Fool's Journey, so it does seem a fitting place to start.

Illustrations from the Tarot of the Cat People reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902.  c. 1985 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc.  All rights reserved.

Before I provide the standard definition of this card from the LWB, I'm going to break down what I see when I look at the card, and what I get from this particulr card.

The card reflects a walker in a yellow patterned overcoat and billowing pants.  He has his hair up in pony tails.   His boots have poms and bells.   At his heel is a cat clawing to his leg, but he is not bothered.  He has a walking stick and he walks over a path of boulders.  He seems to be walking at night, and through a cave out to the expance.  He's not looking to his destination -- but rather off to the side.   Is he going out for a short jaunt or a long journey, it is not known, but the walker is not concerned about it either way.   Hia companion is not trying to stop him, and is not worried.   It more seems to be a cat playing with his leg.   

What do I get from this?  Walk with confidence and assurance, even to the unknown.  Don't let fear hold you back.

The standard meaning of this card is a combination of variations of Boldly Go and Watch Your Step or Pay Attention.   Those are showing in this card for certain.  However, this Fool feels less foolhardy than the RWS version.  

Now obviously, those meanings are a little more in depth than Boldly Go or Pay Attention.  The book that came with this deck indicates that the card is indicative of the beginning of an adventure, enthusiasm, new opportunities, unlimited possibilities, pleasure, passion, rashness, obsession, etc.  

So when you're looking at all of the meanings that this card could have, it is important to note the surrounding cards and see what else is going on in the spread.  As a stand alone card of the day reading, I would consider it to be an indication of new opportunities to be aware of.

But using in a spread, it could mean many things, depending on what was surrounding it, or the purpose of the spread.  So the best way to demonstrate that is to lay out a spread.

The spread I'm using was created by my friend Kathy Briget and is a New Year's Spread.

Looking at it at first, I see that this ten card spread has three Pentacles, one each of Wands, Cups, and Swords, and Four Major Arcana, and Four Court Cards.

The First Card is the Theme of the Year:  Two of Pentacles.   This is a card of balance.  Ups and downs.   The balance theme is also very well shown by looking at the cards that have been drawn for this reading.

The Second Card represents the Outcome or Goals for the year:  Page of Pentacles.   I tend to view Pages as heralds or announcers.   I am also an elemental reader, so I do put a bit of focus on the elements that are representated.   This is the suit of Earth, security.    That said, I am actually going to draw on this from the image itself on this card.   The woman in it is reading or writing in a large book.   That is a goal of mine, to write more (which is why we're here in this blog)

The Third Card represents the Energy from the Past Year that's moving away:  The Fool.   This is where we look at the position of the card to determine what it means.   The energy of the Fool is a new adventure, and that makes sense.   This last year was very much the beginning of a new adventure.   Now I'm on that adventure.  I have already set out.   Perhaps the path will continue, but the adventure is no longer new. 

The Fourth Card represents the baggage that is being left behind:  The Tower.   The tower is a card that represents foundations being shaken, upheaval, change.  It's actually a card I do like -- It means that a new beginning can occur, that a new set of goals and desires can be formed.   This one also makes sense.  

The Fifth Card represents the Opportunities for the New Year:  Knight of Pentacles.   Knights to me are repreesntative of action.   This particular knight is very strong and steady.  He's not running ahead without a plan of action.  He's steadfast.  He's reliable.  You can count on him to be where he says and do what he has promised.  How does this relate to opportunities?   It could mean that because of that reputation, more opportunities could become available.

The Sixth Card represents the Challenges that will come with the New Year:  The Ace of Cups.  Aces are about beginnings, and Cups are representative of the element of water, which is about emotions.   So this indicates that the challenges could be emotional.   Looking at the card though, the challenge seems to be overcoming contentment or complacency.   The cat in this card looks perfectly happy where it is, and while the woman is dressed to go out, she does not seem to be  moving.  For me, this makes sense as well.

The final four cards represent the seasons, and Kathy chose to order them according to the Wiccan calendar and begin in the Winter

So the theme or challenge for the season of Winter is the Queen of Wands;   Queens are nurturers, and Wands are Fire -- Passion.    Combined, this represents a generous energy that nurtures those surrounding her.  Looking at this card, the Queen seems to be lighting the way, leading.  She's not leaving anyone behind.  So this will be a time of nurturing and leadership.

The season of Spring brings The World.   The World is frequently considered the "end" of the Fools Journey.   The card features a dancer, light on her feet, holding a globe of energy in her hands.   It could mean that there is some recogntion or acknowledgment.

The season of Summer brings the Queen of Swords.    She's tough, when she has to be.  She doesn't start fights, but she will fight if she needs to.  She defends those whom she cares for.  I like to call her the Xena card.   This card shows a very powerful woman.  She is draped in softness, but the hard edges on her face reveal that she is not as soft as her presentation might lead you to believe.   The energy reflected here is indicative of readiness.

The season of Fall brings the Wheel of Fortune.  The Wheel indicates that the things can turn.   However, it mostly falls to opportunities, solving a problem.   Because of the surrounding cards, this feels more positive than negative, so Fall brings out a positive outcome.

Word Count:  1226

A New Year, a New Blog

Greetings, Happy New Year, etc.

So, for 2019, I joined in a writing challenge, and while most people participating are working on a novel, I'm working on a blog.  Why? I want to try to find my voice.

The writing challenge is the 365 Writing Challenge, sponsored by the 10 Minute Novelists, and the goal is to foster an environment where you set up the habit of writing every day, even if it is only for 10 minutes.  I've set up a personal goal of 3,500 words a week.   This is pretty must the equivalent of two days of writing for NaNoWriMo, so it's not an unreasonable goal.

The first 78 entries (after this one) will be an exploration of a tarot deck -- The Tarot of the Cat People.   I'd like to thank US Games Systems for granting me permission to use images from the deck, because it is a beautiful deck.

My intention with the exploration is the following:  talk about the traditional meaning of the card, talk about what this particular version of the card is saying, and use the card in a tarot reading. 

Why would there be a difference between the traditional meaning and the specific card?   The imagery lends itself to additional interpretatios, otherwise why even have more than one deck?  Each deck has a voice, because of the variety of the imagery and the different symbols that the artist chooses. 

Long before I settled on which deck to use, I knew I would be doing a blog to explore a deck from start to finish, but picking the deck itself was difficult.  I have over 50.   I use about 5 of them regularly, and Tarot of the Cat People is actually not one of my current "go to" decks.   Right now, I primarily use Every Day Witch, Shadowscapes, Revelations, Tarot of the Mystical Cats, and Tarot of Pagan Cats.

So why Tarot of the Cat People?

It's kind of simple, actually.   Tarot of The Cat People was my very fist deck.  I didn't buy it for myself.  It was a gift from my ex-husband, and is actually the most thoughtful gift he ever gave me.

He bought it for me in 1998, so I've had it for 20 years. 

I never asked for a tarot deck, but I wanted one.  He worked in a B Dalton Books.  Every time I went there to visit (or shop), I would linger over the tarot decks, but I never asked to see one.  I lived in a conservative town, and I didn't want word getting back to my parents that I was messing around with those kinds of things -- as I knew nothing about tarot cards at all, but I knew my parents would not be happy.

But he noticed this, and he bought me a deck out of the blue -- it wasn't a birthday or an anniversary gift.  It was a just because gift.

And just like that, I had my first tarot deck.

At that point, I thought that the meanings of the LWB (little white book for those who don't know) were sacred, holy, and exact.  That there was no variation away from it.  I also thought the only spread was the Celtic Cross, as that was the one shown in the book.

I started doing readings in email with the Tarot of the Cat People.   Over the course of the next two years, I did well over 50 readings for other people using this deck. 

But I have never taken the time to really get acquainted with the individual cards of the deck.   So if I'm going to do a card by card daily review, looking at each card in detail, it seems that the first one is the most deserving of that review.

So tomorrow, we'll start to get to know The Tarot of the Cat People by starting our journey at the very beginning -- with the Fool.

Daily Word Count:  660

Moving Beyond

Anyone who has been paying attention at all to the world of BRATdom over the past month and a half is well aware of what has happened.  If you're not, I invite you to take a journey over to some of those blogs referenced on the right.    They've done an amazing job discussing the civilian duo who thought that our heritage was challenging, that today's BRATS should be called something else, and that yesterday's BRATS are completely out of touch with what today's BRATS are dealing with (yeah, like a civilian who has never had any military experience, either as a member or a dependent is more in touch because they took a couple of classes. That's not at all FUBAR.)  

But what is next?

How do we, as a community, heal from the very real hurt that has been inflicted?   I take it as an absolute given that Operation CHAMPS is not going to apologize to our community.  They think that they are absolute saints and perfect in every way.  They refuse to look inward at their own missteps, and they refuse to acknowledge that even if their intent was not to cause harm, they have. You'd think that someone from their particular culture would be well aware of this.  That culture focuses on the strength of community, and laws, which may seem odd to an outsider, exist to protect the community as a whole.    There is also a concept of restitution which is very prevalent.   But the biggest obstacle in any of this is admitting the error of your ways -- something I am certain they will never do.  

And if they did, would we, as a community, ever trust them to be faithful and true in their apology?  I don't know that I would, if I am honest.  I'd be looking for their edge, their angle.   I don't trust them not to have one, and I have valid reason for that.  They have been duplicitous and dishonest in their dealings with us.  While they chose to attack our culture, unprovoked, when we called them to task for this assault, they vilified us.   They played the victim card.  They were the ones wronged.   But from my point of view, they had an opportunity to open a dialog with us.    One of them claims to have a degree related to psychology, so I find it rather telling that she was incapable of realizing that the anger she was getting was due to her own action.  She could have apologized, and asked for a dialog then.   Instead, she and her followers chose to deride and insult people who were coming to them, politely..at first.   Rather than saying "Whoa!  I missed something.  Can we talk?"  (which we would have been open to), they accused us of being misinformed about their intent.  

We had direct quotes from an organization printed in several articles and on their own website.  We were not misinformed.

That being said...the way they responded has made it so I am unwilling to dialog with them.  I am unwilling to trust anything they say.   They have proven themselves to be deceitful and underhanded,, disrespectful of the community they claim to want to serve.

But that does not move us beyond this.  Where do we go from here?

I've honestly learned a lot about my culture in the past month and a half.  I understand things that I thought were personal oddities are actually related to the things I experienced growing up as a military BRAT.   This is a good thing.

I discovered that I'm really not the only one who felt, literally, exiled from the community in which I was raised.   Driving past military installations actually hurts because, despite being a member of that community for 21 years, I have been discarded.

In many ways, the military is part of our family, but it is a very dysfunctional one.  We are, in a very real sense, the bastard children it refuses to acknowledge.   I wonder how much of that is because they know that the reality of our childhood had an impact on our adult lives and who we became.  They know that the mission itself caused a lot of strife in so many ways.  

Serving in the armed forces is not all parades.  It is sometimes coffins and wheelchairs and  prosthetic limbs.  It is sometimes unseen injuries.   Sometimes, it is alcoholism and violence.  And there are darker, hidden areas -- where the class system between officers and enlisted comes into play.   Of course, there is also the sexism.     There are a lot of wonderful things about the military, but there is also a lot wrong within it.   Its very nature causes much of these problems.   However, these problems impact the service members. They impact the spouses.  And they most certainly impact the children.

The difference is that the service members and their spouses do have support.   The child?  They quickly learn the mantra "Suck it up, buttercup."

Once a military BRAT reaches a certain age, however, in addition to everything else the military has thrown at them, they are exiled.

The military does not want to acknowledge us.  Acknowledging means accepting some responsibility. While we bear them no blame in many of the issues, understanding that the mission of the military itself is a direct cause....something they can control no more than we, the thing we can hold them to account for is their abject dismissal of us.
 
Service members who approach retirement are given help to transition to a civilian world, which has changed much in the 20 (plus) years they served.    The military dependent, who has never ever navigated this world?  No help at all in navigating this foreign land.   Just "turn in your ID and begone with you"      We are dropped off in a country we don't really know (even though it is our own) with the only home we've ever known closed.  

Is the military dependent sheltered? from many things...yes.  We are oddly sheltered.   We understand war and danger and security procedures.    But we don't really know how to communicate in world where traffic does not come to a stop at 5 pm, where people do not stand up before the movie starts.

We accept immediately that we've been abandoned.   As a fellow BRAT (Marc Curtis) said:  "When they took away our ID, they meant it."  

They don't want anything to do with us.  They don't want to work with BRAT organizations, because BRAT organizations actually know areas where need exists -- and they do not want anything that represents a picture other than a child singing or saluting a flag.

I think the military owes young BRATS access to the aid that can be given, from people who have walked in their shoes.    Young BRATS deserve honesty.   They deserve programs which help them to reach out to one another when they are not in DODDEA schools, and they need programs which give them a safe place to talk about things, their fears, their worries, their stresses -- where their words will not be considered criticism of the military as a whole or their parent and they won't be told to 'suck it up, buttercup.'    

What don't they need?  A civilian pretending to understand them while teaching them what she "knows" about the military.   BRATS already put on a brave face for the rest of the world.  They need a safe place where that mask can come off and they can deal with their emotions.

How many people watch pictures on Facebook of a Daddy coming home from a long deployment and his little girl or boy running to him with abandon?    That's the picture you want to see -- the joy of the reunion.    That's the pretty.

But how many people think of the tears she cried in her pillow, muffling the sound of her sobs because she knew her mother was just as afraid, because she missed her father?  And how many think of the brave face she must put on when she realizes that the man she knew as Daddy has changed so much  that he feels like a total stranger?

It's been documented that psychologists have a hard time helping military members open up about their war time stresses -- because that service member does not feel the doctor understands them.  

Don't young BRATS deserve access to those in our community  who most definitely understand them?  Is it not wrong of the military to deny them access to those of us who came before, who went through this? We may have been raised during a different war, in a different time -- but the fears, the lifestyle...those things have not changed.  

I applaud those who want to help the military child.  I really do. But helping them is not about babysitting, or writing a feel good book.   They don't need songs that say "good bye isn't forever," because trust me when I say it usually is.    They need people who can relate and relate honestly with them.

Those organizations exist.   So the question that should be asked is not why are the military and other organizations supporting those civilian groups....but why are they NOT supporting BRATS?

We're not veterans.   But we're also not civilians.   We're the children of the military.  

Support the troops....but not just by wearing a flag on your lapel or putting a ribbon magnet on your car.

Support their families .... and that includes the children. ...and not just so you can get a sweet photo op.  (And for the love of whatever you swear on that is holy, do NOT post pictures of military BRATS who are overseas on line!   They are targets.)     Support organizations which actually do understand what the military child experiences, and knows the needs that no one will voice.  

Why I'm Proud to be a BRAT

What's a BRAT, you ask?  The short answer is 'child dependent of the people who serve our nation, whether they are in the Armed Forces, civilian service personnel, diplomatic corps (including foreign service and  state department), and educators.'     However, growing up as a BRAT defines a person long past childhood.  

As far as the letters -- BRAT -- it's not a proper acronym.    A proper acronym has an agreed upon meaning.   For example:   USA - United States of America.   If you hear "USA," you know exactly what those letters mean.  The same is not true for BRAT.     That is not to say they do not have meaning -- they have so many meanings, and they are important to us.

The first time I was called a BRAT, my father told me it meant 'Born, Raised, and Trained" .   Military BRATS are Born, Raised and Trained in the military, and that is certainly true.   But I've heard a lot of meanings...and they all resonate with me.   Why wouldn't they?   This is my identity, and these are all words of strength.   When you move every three years (if you're lucky!), and transfer schools even more often, you have to have something constant...an anchor, if you will.

So, what do these letters stand for?

Sometimes, it is a sentence or a saying, like "Born, Raised and Trained."   I have seen "Born, Raised and Traveled," "Born Ready and Traveled,"  and "Born Rough and Tough."   Those are just the sentence ones, and I can assure you -- those are the very definition of a BRAT.  

But sometimes, these letters have meanings:

B - Bold, Brave
R - Responsible, Resilient, Respectful
A - Adaptable, Adaptive, Adjusted
T - Tolerant, Tenacious

I think you can see why we might cling to these adjectives.   They are things we aspire to.   In a world of "suck it up, buttercup," we use those as a mantra.

BRATS have recently added another letter collectively.... S - Spunk!  We are a spunky bunch, and we have to be.

All this is just a little bit of who we are:  as children.

Why is it so important for an adult to cling to this?  It's simple.   Where did you grow up?   Did you have a simple answer, like "Roanoke, Virginia"?    Even if you've left "Roanoke," did not those years help develop you into the person you are today?   You might live in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but you always consider "Roanoke, Virginia" to be home, or at least a part of who you are.  You will always feel comfortable in Roanoke.    I bet you can even rattle off your childhood street address - perhaps even your phone number.

Where did the BRAT grow up?  Everywhere.   We are America's children, spread like seeds in the wind.   We've been all over the globe.   Our hometown IS really our culture...our identity.  We don't have a physical hometown, but we do have a metaphysical one.  

Honestly, we need our name when we're growing up.  We also need it once we've separated.   We cannot go home -- the bases are closed to us.  We've been exiled.   Still, even if we could, even if we could drive down the streets where we once played, there would be no one that we knew there.   No one would remember us -- or anyone we knew.   Our culture is transient in location, but very strong in its bond.

Young BRATS serve this nation from the time they can walk until they reach the age of separation.   They make unrecognized sacrifices every single day -- today's BRATS deal with multiple deployments of one or both parents.  While they have access to communication technology that was not available to the BRATS who came before, they are still sacrificing a childhood of security so that our nation can be secure.     They sacrifice Christmases and birthdays, plays and presentations, playoffs and play dates.   Many of these children have spent less time with their parent than they have apart from them.    Yesterday's BRATS made that sacrifice as well.   And they do this without complaint.   They, like their parents, live Kennedy's challenge:  "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."   They learn to serve this country before they learn to walk.

That sacrifice never stops.   And many, many, many BRATS make another sacrifice -- the loss of a parent in the service of our nation.

What else do BRATS do? When we are abroad, we serve as unofficial ambassadors of this nation.   How many people will ever meet a head of state?  How many will ever have an opportunity to talk to an official ambassador?   Sure, the rich and powerful have those opportunities.   But what about the average person?   Not many.   But a lot of people in those nations have a chance to meet the BRATS (and their families).     We know, from a very young age, that when we are off base, what we do reflects not just on us, or even our parents.   We're representing our nation.   We take that very seriously.   We love our country very intensely, and it is very important to us.  Who do you think we're sacrificing for?  We never forget.

Not while we're growing up.  And not after we separate.  America forgets us though...and that is assuming you ever paid attention to the fact that we also served.  We did not volunteer.   We were drafted with our first breath.   And we are thrown away when we reach our expiration date.

Yet we still love our nation intensely.  

I'm very proud to be an Air Force BRAT.  

There are a lot of ugly things about being a military BRAT -- There is a lack of stability existing outside of our own immediate family.  Some BRATs do not even have that much -- military families are like many others.  Some are supportive and some are extremely dysfunctional.   However, if you do not have the support of your immediate family, BRAT life very very difficult.

I was extremely blessed that my parents were (and are) supportive.   I knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that if my father missed something important .... it was not his choice to miss it.     My father went on temporary duty assignments, sometimes for months at a time.   One time, that TDY actually worked to my advantage -- in college! (okay, the TDY got cancelled, but he was supposed to have a TDY at Wright-Pat.   I was in college in Michigan.  My dad was then stationed in Montgomery, Alabama.   Wright-Pat is within a semi-reasonable drive of my college.)   My senior year, the final band concert was during the time he was supposed to be at Wright-Pat.   He had, reasonably, missed all of my college concerts -- and I never bothered asking them to come (I mean... 18 hour drive for a concert?  No.)    But I did ask him to come to this one.   It was a mere 3 hours away.    His TDY got cancelled.   But instead of telling me this, he and my mom did that 18 hour haul for an hour long college concert.  They could have told me the TDY had been cancelled.  I would not have been hurt. I only asked because, for once, he would be close.

In addition to the unspoken but always present knowledge that having a parent in the service brings about a constant threat of loss, many BRATS have to deal with parents who come home and are not the same.   Combat is difficult on people.   But coming home does not end the stress -- it just brings on a different stress.    But BRATS do what BRATS do.... they deal with whatever the military throws at them.  

And there have been a lot of BRATS who, after separation, realized that there is a need to reach out to BRATS of all eras (We each rather identify with an era that defines the experiences we had.   I'm a Cold War BRAT, for example.   I'm very grateful to not have been a Viet Nam Era BRAT -- simply because while they dealt with many things similar to what today's BRATS encounter, they did not have the comfort of a grateful nation to support them.  They had to deal with the stress of a parent in a war zone, and their school mates asking if he was a 'baby killer.'   America owes these BRATS and their families an apology, by the way.  The way we treated our veterans was horrendous, and the way we treated their families was equally so!   I say "we", but I do rather mean those of you who are old enough to have been there!)  

These BRATS have formed clubs to reach out to the kids in civilian schools, so they know they are not alone; they have conducted the longevity studies that other organizations have failed to consider; they have researched and produced works of non-fiction books and documentaries; they have written children's books to help children with deployed parents; they have formed databases; they have worked extremely hard on behalf of BRATS, past and future.   They have done these things without the support of the military or the government.   They have done this with extremely limited support from civilians.     All because these entities do not like the name of our culture: BRAT.

These entities do not recognize or respect that not all BRATS are spoiled.

But we are very proud of our name and our heritage and our legacy.  And woe betide to anyone who tries to take it away.

Here are links to the organizations I was talking about.

Brats without Borders / BRATS: Our Journey Home (documentary)
BratPin
Military Brat Registry
Overseas Brats
Books for Brats

I'm very proud of those who have worked so hard to preserve our legacy and bring us together, giving us a community long after our exile, and let us know that, as always -- we are not alone.  We never were.

We are your neighbors.  We are your co-workers. We are the realtor who sells you your very first home, or the underwriter who approves your loan.  We are writers and actors, lawyers and legislators. We are members of the global community.  We learned who America was by seeing her through the eyes of the world, and we helped them see our nation for the beautiful place and people it can be.

I'm proud to be a part of this community.  I'm proud of the experiences I got to have as a BRAT -- from spending my 18th birthday in Paris, France and London, England to the world class education I received from some of the best teachers in the business.