A Change of Plans

This year, I started my blog with the intent of the first 78 posts being an exploration of the Tarot of the Cat People.  However, after just three cards, I can already tell you that this is a road paved with failure.  I simply do not connect with the imagery of this deck.

I’ve had this deck for over 20 years. It’s my first deck.  There are many many people who truly love this deck, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.   I, however, do not.

I wanted to, and I was hoping that the exploration of this deck would really help me connect with it.  That is not happening.  What is happening is that I am actively avoiding working on the blog because I don’t want to work with this deck.   I have not written in it since last week when I wrote up the entry for the High Priestess.

There are a few issues I do have with the deck.

1. I don’t connect to the artwork, which is very strange when you consider that I love cats.  I really do.  I have a lot of cat decks.
2. I tend to be a very elemental based reader.  Some people really are drawn to colors, some are drawn to numerology.  I’m elemental, and these are not elemental cards.   Most decks will tell you that the suit of Wands represents fire (or air), etc.   This deck does not do that.   I’m not able to figure out how the artist and creators intended.
3. Because of this major difference, the meanings on the cards do not really mesh with my familiarity levels. 

There are some things I like… I like that the deck represents diversity.  That’s not altogether common, although there is a lot of intent in the creation of more recent decks to represent the world around us, rather than being extremely monochrome with representation.   That’s important, and it should not be discounted, especially considering when this deck was published.   

And perhaps, the lack of connection has nothing to do with any of the reasons I think it does.  Maybe it is much deeper.

This deck was given to me by my ex-husband.  Is there some sort of tie there that will never really be cut.  

At one point, I thought I had lost some of the cards to this deck, and bought a replacement.  I couldn’t connect to that replacement, and I chalked it up to having lost cards and the deck not trusting me because of that.    So I found it a home with someone who does appreciate it.

Then I found my original deck and, lo and behold, it was complete.  I had not lost any cards.  So it was not that.  I just think that maybe, there is a deep level of disconnect.

Perhaps it is because the deck was given to me by my ex.

Perhaps it is because I didn’t initially choose the deck.

Perhaps it is all of it, or maybe none of it.   Perhaps I am overthinking it.

So I will retire this deck.   I will not get rid of it.  This deck served me well back when I first started reading.   And it gave meaningful readings to people, even though I depended on the Little White Book.   It is not a useless deck or a bad deck.

It’s just not for me.

I have a couple of choices in this situation:  

1. Attempt to stick with the Tarot of the Cat People – and therefore end up scrapping this whole thing as I just can’t bring myself to work with the deck every day
2.  Change decks – technically, failing as a blog where I explore the Tarot of the Cat People, but at least continuing on writing
3.  Just stop and drop it entirely.

So, what have I decided?

I’ve decided to keep writing and to change decks.   I have not yet decided if I’m going to swap out decks or pick one and stick with it.   We have about 50 decks in my house (I do wish I were kidding.  Tarot decks are kind of like potato chips), so I could easily use  multiple decks in this exploration, while continuing with the journey through the cards.

This journey continues tomorrow…

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